Kennedy Didn't Beat Nixon. Satire

The Advantage That My Children Have Is That My Children Are Encountering The Nicest White People That America Has Ever Produced. Let’s Hope America Keeps Producing Nicer White People.

Dude, I Didn't Say Jude Law Can't Act. I Didn't Say Jude Law Was In Bad Movies. I Just Said He's In Every Movie.

I'll Probably Pay More Attention To The Musicians In The Pit Than The Stars Because They're The Closest You're Going To Get To Normal People In The Audience.

Nobody Really Wants To Be A Stand-up, They Want To Get On Tv.

I Just Thought Everybody Lived Around Abandoned Buildings And Crack-heads, ... I Lived In The Ghetto Until I Was Like 19. I Came To Los Angeles, Stayed At Hotels And Stuff. When I Got Back And I Saw What My Neighborhood Looked Like, I Started Getting Scared.