Jill, We Became Parents So

While Awaiting Sentencing, I Decided To Give Stand-up Comedy A Shot. The Judge Had Suggested I Get My Act Together, And I Took Him Seriously.

Real Men Don't Use Instructions, Son. Besides, This Is Just The Manufacturer's Opinion On How To Put This Together.

Sometimes You Get The Sense That The Creator Is Getting To That Point Of "yeah, We Might Have To Reboot."

I Have Way Too Many Commitments. I Get Pulled In Too Many Directions And I Never Seem To Be Able To Satisfy Anybody. People Get Turned On By Knowing A Celebrity, Even My Friends And Family. They Feel That There's Something Exciting About Me, But In Reality There's No Substance To It. People In Airports Just Hold On To Me Expecting Something And It Seems That I Always Come Up Empty. It's Frustrating Because I'm Trying To Please Everybody, And Ya Just Can't Do That ... At Least I Can't.

Be Wary Of Listening To Stories Secondhand.