I've Sometimes Thought Of Marrying

People Are Wrong When They Say Opera Is Not What It Used To Be. It Is What It Used To Be. That Is What's Wrong With It.

Good Heavens, Television Is Something You Appear On; You Don't Watch.

An Infant Prodigy Of Nine Is Shoved Upon The Stage In White. She Starts Off In A Dismal Whine About A Dark And Stormy Night, A Burglar, Whose Heart Is True, Despite His Wicked-looking Face, Who Puts The Little Child In Doom, To Save Her Mamma's Jewel Case. This May Bring Tears To Every Eye; It Does Not Set My Heart On Fire. I'd Like To Stand Serenely By And Watch That Horrid Child Expire.

Marriage Is The Aftermath Of Love.

I See Her As One Great Stampede Of Lips Directed At The Nearest Derriere.