I've Never Done Online Dating.

Why Would Anyone Get Married And Have Babies? That's The Dumbest Idea I've Ever Heard In My Life. Or The Scariest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life.

You’re A Feminist If You Go To A Jay Z And Beyoncé Concert, And You’re Not Like, ‘mmm, I Feel Like Beyoncé Should Get 23 Percent Less Money Than Jay Z'.

Everyone's First Thought Is "these Women Are Going To Take Advantage Of You" Or "someone's Only Going To Date You Because You're Famous." That Stuff's Not Really An Issue Because That's Super-easy To See Through.

You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.

I Have Never Taken The High Road, But I Tell Other People To 'cause Then There's More Room For Me On The Low Road.