I've Never Done Anything For

I'm A Comic, And I'm Supposed To Outrage And Make People Laugh, Part Of Makin' People Laugh Is To Shake Up Their Thinkin'. That's What I Came Here To Do.

I Like Facts And Data Because They Help Me Think Clearly, Beyond The Cultural Messages That I Ingest Unwittingly, And Sometimes Find Myself Regurgitating Almost Unconsciously.

I Want To Say That Nobody Accuses Their Parents Of Abusing Them Without Justification To Do That. I Didn't Just Make It Up. A Lot Of Things Were True And Abusive And Horrible Things That Happened To Me That My Father Did.

One Of The First Things I Bought When I Made 'roseanne Show' Money Was A Farm In Iowa.

Two Things Do Me In: One's Chocolate Cake, The Other's Hypocrisy.