I'm Funnier Now Because I'm

My Daughter Made Me A Jerry Springer-watching Kit, With Crackers, Cheez Whiz, Polyester Stretch Pants And A T-shirt With Two Fat Women Fighting Over A Skinny Guy.

I Like To Get People Talking. I Am A Provocateur, And I Do Like Getting On Twitter And Riling People Up. You Know What, After A While Some Sane Dialogue And Sane Conclusions Come Of That Kind Of Thing.

Women Of This Planet Need Some Essential Resources: Wells, Seeds And Roads. That Is Primarily All We Have Ever Needed. Added To That, Women Need Righteous And Strong Men Who Will Help Us To Use Our Most Cherished Gifts: The Ability To Multitask And Problem Solve.

I Will Barnstorm American Living Rooms. Mainstream Media Will Be Unable To Ignore Me, But More Importantly They Will Be Unable To Overlook The Needs Of Average Americans In The Run-up To The 2012 Election.

Half The World's Starving; The Other Half Is Trying To Lose Weight.