I've Been A Comedian Since

Jerry Seinfeld, He Was Doing Letterman Show All The Time, So He Kind Of Had An Excuse, That People Know The Jokes Already. He Didn't Have Time To Do Stand-up. A Guy Like Me, I Have No Excuses.

The Kid Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me.

You Know, Be Able To Do Something Great In Your Life, You're Gonna Have To Realize Your Failures. You're Gonna Have To Embrace Them And Figure Out How To Overcome It.

I Wish I Had More Hands, So I Could Give Those Titties Four Thumbs Down!

I Would Go To Work On The Show And I Felt Awful Every Day, That's Not The Way It Was. ... I Felt Like Some Kind Of Prostitute Or Something. If I Feel So Bad, Why Keep On Showing Up To This Place? I'm Going To Africa. The Hardest Thing To Do Is To Be True To Yourself, Especially When Everybody Is Watching.