I've Always Had Lots Of

The Only Reason I Got Into Stand-up Was Because My Brother Told Me To. I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Do With My Life. I Was 17 And My Brother Went To A Comedy Club And He Said - You Can Do That.

Chemistry Can Be A Good And Bad Thing. Chemistry Is Good When You Make Love With It. Chemistry Is Bad When You Make Crack With It.

I Sang A Song At My Sister's Wedding. My Mother Forced Me Into That, Too. But That One Felt All Right.

He Has A 5 Year Plan... What Is It, Don't Die?

Some Of Us Will Never Ever Find True Love. Take, For Instance Me. And I'm Pretty Sure That Guy Right There. And That Lady With The Sideburns. And Basically Everybody At Table Nine.