It's The Government's Job To

The Confidence And Security Of A People Can Be Measured By Their Attitude Toward Laxatives. At The High Noon Of The British Sun, Soldiers In Far-flung Outposts Of The Empire Doctored Themselves With "a Spoonful O' Gunpowder In A Cuppa 'ot Tea." Purveyors And Users Of Harsh Laxatives Were Not Afraid Of Being Thought Mean And Unfriendly Just Because Their Laxatives Were. But In America, The Need To Be Nice Is So Consuming That Nobody Would Dare Take A Laxative That Makes You Run Up The Stairs Two At A Time, Pushing Others Aside And Yelling, "get Out Of The Way!

Learn To Spot And Avoid "writer Groupies." The Writer's Self-sufficiency And Our Love For Our Work Tend To Attract Insecure People Who Never Can Get Enough Love. They Grow Jealous Of Our Work And Come To Regard It As A Rival. These People Can Destroy You, So Kick Them Out Of Your Life Or Don't Admit Them In The First Place.

We Worship Education But Hate Learning. We Worship Success But Hate The Successful. We Worship Fame But Hate The Famous.

Owning Your Own Home Is America's Unique Recipe For Avoiding Revolution And Promoting Pseudo-equality At The Same Time.

I Simply Like Guns Because You Can't Shoot People Without Them.