It's The First Day Of

You Folks Like Tv, You Watch A Lot Of Tv? There's A Show Right Here On Cbs, It's A Huge Hit. It's Called The "mentalist." And It's About This Guy Who Has A Heightened Sense Of Observation. It's Miraculous; He's The Only Guy In The World Who Can Tell The Difference Between Sarah Palin And Tina Fey.

Thanksgiving Is The Day When You Turn To Another Family Member And Say, 'how Long Has Mom Been Drinking Like This?' My Mom, After Six Bloody Marys Looks At The Turkey And Goes, 'here, Kitty, Kitty.'

Today Was Opening Day For The New Congress In Washington. And Vice President Joe Biden Swore In The New Batch Of White House Fence Jumpers.

Do You Know What I'm Going To Do When I Retire? I Hope To Become The New Face Of Scientology.

I'm So Excited For My Son. On Christmas Morning I Want To See His Face, To Be There When He Opens The Gifts. I Want The See What My Assistants Got Him For Christmas.