Its Not Easy Being A

And Yet, People Still Turn To Jesus. You Will Notice Though That The Kind Of People Who Turn To Jesus Tend To Be The Sort Of People Who Haven't Done That Well With Everybody Else.

We All Know Smoking Is Bad. I Know I'm Going To Quit Someday, If I Thought I Wasn't I'd Quit Now.

You Know, People Sometimes Say To Me, 'do You Prefer To Do This Or That, Act Or Do Stand-up Or Write' But The Thing That I Enjoy Most Is The Difference Between All Of Them, Because You're Always Learning. I Don't Go Around Thinking Of Myself As A Great Anything. I'm Actually Lucky To Have The Chance To Fail At All Of Them.

I'm Irish, Yeah, But I Don't Need To Get Up On A Soapbox About It.

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.