It's Never Occurred To Me

I'm Really Worried About My Girlfriend's Morals ... She Has Next Written On Her Knickers.

Did You Know You Can Have An Irish Abortion, But There Is A 12 Month Waiting List?

Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks To Live. I Said: "can I Have The Last Week In July And The 1st Week In August?"

A Man Says To The Doctor: "what's The Good News?" "you've Got 24 Hours To Live." He Says: "what's The Bad News?" The Doctor Says: "we Should Have Told You Yesterday."

It's My Wife Ruth's Birthday Soon. I Said To Her: "what Would You Like For Your Birthday?" She Said: "i Want A Divorce." I Said: "i Wasn't Planning On Spending That Much."