It's Much Easier To Get

Success Comes And Goes. Your Flops Stay With You For Life.

Working As A Journalist Is Exactly Like Being The Wallflower At An Orgy. I Always Seem To Find Myself At A Perfectly Wonderful Event Where Everyone Else Is Having A Marvelous Time, Laughing Merrily, Eating, Drinking, Having Sex In The Back Room, And I Am Standing On The Side Taking Notes On It All.

The Divorce Has Lasted Way Longer Than The Marriage, But Finally It's Over.

I Look As Young As A Person Can Look Given How Old I Am.

Everybody I Know Who Goes Out And Plays A Little Softball, They Break Their Leg.