It's Amazing What I Could've

I Do Not Make Jokes About Sarah Palin Simply Because I Could Not Live In This World If I Believed She Was A Real Person.

I'm A Selfish, Little Pig Of A Man.

These People [the Christians] Watched The Flintstones As If It Were A Documentary.

Nobody In College Races Home And Says, 'i Can't Wait To See The News! I Can't Wait To See Who Cbs Is Going To Hire!'

It's A Big Thing Now: A Lot Of People Want To Be Assistants To Celebrities. If You're Pursuing That, You're An Idiot. You're A Moron. The Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is Not A Celebrity, Or Being Next To A Celebrity.