It Would Be A Better

Where Some People May See Loving Grandparents, I See A Pair Of Feckless Boobs Who Can't Drive, Take Way Too Long To Shop, And Don't Even Have The Most Basic Grasps On The New Technology. As A Staunch Supporter Of The Principles Of Darwinism, I Think That Advances In Modern Medicine Are Starting To Overrule The Survival Of The Fittest, And It's To Our [youngers'] Detriment.

Most College Students Are Not As Smart As Most College Presidents.

When There Are Starving People In The World, It Seems Wrong That So Many Of Us Americans Eat As Much For Entertainment As For Nourishment.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

Once You Pass Forty, A Dime Isn't Worth Bending Over To Pick Up If You Drop One.