It's Two Days Until Tax

President Bush Says He Needs A Month Off To Unwind. Unwind? When The Hell Does This Guy Wind?

But Down In Florida In The Early Voting, There Were Computer Glitches, Confusing Ballots, Long Lines And Chaos. And When President Bush Heard About This, He Said, 'mission Accomplished!'

Hillary Clinton Is Campaigning In Iowa, Virtually Going Door To Door To Every Home In Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses Finally Got Fed Up And Said, 'get Lost. Get Out Of Here!'

You Probably Heard About The Big Prisoner Swap With Cuba. A Man Who Has Been Incarcerated In Havana For Five Years Is Back Home In The United States. And We Sent Them Some Prisoners. The Deal Still Has To Be Approved By President Obama And Bud Selig.

Ted Cruz Could Be President Of The United States. If You Thought The Secret Service Was Drinking Before