It Costs A Lot To

People Invite Me To Dinner Not Because I Can Cook, But Because I Like To Clean Up. I Get Immediate Gratification From Windex. Yes, I Do Windows.

It Costs A Lot To Sue A Magazine, And It's Too Bad That We Don't Have A System Where The Losing Team Has To Pay The Winning Team's Lawyers.

I Liked Myself Better When I Wasnt Me.

Have You Noticed That All You Need To Grow Healthy, Vigorous Grass Is A Crack In Your Sidewalk? Having A Baby Is Like Taking Your Lower Lip And Forcing It Over Your Head.

In '57, I Got A Job At The Blue Angel Nightclub, And A Gentleman Named Ken Welch Wrote All My Material For Me. I Lived At A Place Called The Rehearsal Club That Was Actually The Basis For A Play Called Stage Door.