In My Lifetime I've Been

If I Were Well Behaved, I'd Die Of Boredom.

I'm The Foe Of Moderation, The Champion Of Excess.

I Read Shakespeare And The Bible, And I Can Shoot Dice. That's What I Call A Liberal Education.

I'd Rather Be Strongly Wrong Than Weakly Right.

Whatever You Have Read I Have Said Is Almost Certainly Untrue, Except If It Is Funny, In Which Case I Definitely Said It.