In A New Poll 54

President Bush Has Delivered A New Resolution To The U.n. Saying That Saddam Has Failed To Cooperate With U.n. Resolutions, Freeing Us To Get Our War On. Don't Mess With Us France, Or We'll Send Jerry Lewis To Iraq As A Human Shield.

Hillary Clinton Has Finished Writing Her Book Where She Says Her Marriage Couldn't Be Stronger, And Bill Just Finished His Book Titled 'chicks I Nailed While Hillary Was Writing Her Book.'

Declassified Papers Report That John Kennedy Was Taking Eight Different Medications A Day. He Was So Wasted, His Secret Service Code Name Was Ted Kennedy.

Ironically, The Possibility That The President Dodged His Military Service Has Increased His Approval Ratings With Democrats By 80 Percent.

Or As Hockey Player Sergei Fedorov Knows It, 'the Day I Can Legally Start Telling Everyone I Am Sleeping With Anna Kournikova.'