I Don't Want To Scare

New Rumors That Saddam Hussein Is Planning To Flee To A Castle In Libya With 10 Billion Dollars. Now President Bush Doesn't Know Whether To Nuke Him Or Give Him A Tax Cut.

On Sunday, The President Flies To The Azores Islands To Attend A Summit With British Prime Minister Tony Blair And Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar, And Here's My Prediction: Bush Gets Voted Off.

A Telephone Survey Says That 51 Percent Of College Students Drink Until They Pass Out At Least Once A Month. The Other 49 Percent Didn't Answer The Phone.

President Bush Said John Kerry Is On Both Sides Of Every Issue. And Kerry Replied, 'no, I'm Not ... But There Is Some Truth To That.'

I Think Mankind Is Overly Sensitive, Very Needy, Greedy, And Flawed.