I'm Sick Of Soup Of

What Am I Drinking? Nyquil On The Rocks, For When You're Feeling Sick But Sociable.

You Should Never Tell Someone They Have A Nice Dimple, Because Maybe They Were Shot In The Face With A Bb Gun.

When I Was A Boy, I Laid In My Twin-sized Bed And Wondered Where My Brother Was.

I Was At A Bar, And This Guy Bumped Into Me, And He Did Not Apologize, And He Said, "move!" I Thought That Was Rude, So I Said, "go To Hell!" Then I Started To Run. He Caught Up To Me. He Had A Mustache, A Goatee, A Pair Of Earrings, Sunglasses, A Ponytail And He Was Wearing A Hat. He Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of Nerve!" I Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of... Cranium Accessories!"

I Thought My Teeth Were White Until I Washed My Face With Noxzema. My Teeth Are Off-white. I'm Not Even White. I'm Off-white. It's A New Race; We Will Prevail!