I'm Offering A Special Prize

The Word Bipartisan Usually Means Some Larger-than-usual Deception Is Being Carried Out.

Weather Tonight: Dark. Turning Partly Light By Morning.

I Do This Real Moron Thing, And It's Called Thinking. And Apparently I'm Not A Very Good American Because I Like To Form My Own Opinions.

Here's A Phrase That Apparently The Airlines Simply Made Up: Near Miss. They Say That If 2 Planes Almost Collide, It's A Near Miss. Bullshit, My Friend. It's A Near Hit! A Collision Is A Near Miss. [wham! Crunch!] "look, They Nearly Missed!" "yes, But Not Quite.

I Noticed That All The Prayers I Used To Offer To God, And All The Prayers I Now Offer To Joe Pesci, Are Being Answered At About The Same 50% Rate. Half The Time I Get What I Want, Half The Time I Don't... Same As The Four-leaf Clover And The Horseshoe...same As The Voodoo Lady Who Tells You Your Fortune By Squeezing The Goat's Testicles, It's All The Same: 50-50. So Just Pick Your Superstition, Sit Back, Make A Wish, And Enjoy Yourself.