I'm Liberace Without A Piano.

Mothers Don't Want To Pinch Me Or Put Me In Their Purse.

The Whole Romantic Part Of My Life Was A Wipeout. I Didn't Even Own A Belt.

Someday I'm Going To Go Onstage In A Dress If I Want To.

I Have An Ulcer. It Has An Iq Of 185.

My Table Seats Eight, So That's My Maximum. Having A Small Number Of Guests Is The Only Way To Generate Good Conversation. Besides, Your Whole House Doesn't Get Wrecked That Way.