I'm Handsome, No Ands, Buts

He Had The Kind Of Face Only A Mother Could Love. If That Mother Was Blind In One Eye, And Had That Sort Of Milky Film Over The Other One, Ya..ya Know, Ya Know What I Mean? But Still He Was My Identical Twin.

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

We All Have A Dinosaur Deep Within Us Just Trying To Get Out.

Our Top Story Tonight: Famous Tv Dolphin Flipper Was Arrested Today On Prostitution Ring Charges. He Allegedly Was Seen Transporting Two 16 Year Olds Across State Line For Immoral Porpoises.

Well, It Seems All The Fish In The Rivers Are Dying. Could This Be An Act Of Cod?