I'm A Tad Paranoid. I

If Bill Gates Is Worth $30 Billion Then A Good Haircut Must Cost $31 Billion

Jerry Falwell Says That Abortion And Homosexuality Are Sins. Oh Yeah? Well, So Is Gluttony, Jerry. So Maybe You Should Think About Dropping 50 Pounds.

Concussion? How The Hell Can They Tell? They're *football* Players, For Chrissakes!

Growing Up, My Family Wasn't Very Tight. We Were More Like A Tour Group With Secrets.

That Secondary Provides Worse Coverage Than A Guatemalan Hmo.