I'll Tell You Once, And

God Created Two Acts Of Folly. First, He Created The Universe In A Big Bang. Second, He Was Negligent Enough To Leave Behind Evidence For This Act, In The Form Of Microwave Radiation.

When I Was A Child, The Earth Was Said To Be Two Billion Years Old. Now Scientists Say It's Four And A Half Billion. So That Makes Me Two And A Half Billion.

It Is Not Enough To Be In The Right Place At The Right Time. You Should Also Have An Open Mind At The Right Time.

There'll Be Plenty Of Time To Rest In The Grave.

There Are Three Signs Of Senility. The First Sign Is That A Man Forgets His Theorems. The Second Sign Is That He Forgets To Zip Up. The Third Sign Is That He Forgets To Zip Down.