If You’re A Black Christian,

The Thing That Surprised Me The Most Is Just How Much Money Women That Weren't Rich Were Paying For Their Hair. When You're In A Beauty Parlor In Harlem Next To Abandoned Buildings And Somebody's Paying Five Grand For A Weave, That's A Bit Much. I Think This Is, In A Weird Way, Part Of The Health Care Debate. It's Like, Hmm, There's People With $2000 Weaves That Could Have Bought Health Care With That Weave Money.

Every Comedian Has A Moment In His Life When He Realizes He's A Little Bit Different From Everyone Else. It's Like Being The Only Guy In A Movie Who Sees The Ghost. The Ghost Talks To You And You Talk To Him. Then You Turn To Your Friend And Say, "hey. Do You See That Ghost? And He Says, What Ghost?"

Hollywood's Just Not Funny.

Oprah Is So Rich, I Saw John Kerry Proposing To Her.

Here's The Thing. When We Talk About Race Relations In America Or Racial Progress, It's All Nonsense. There Are No Race Relations. White People Were Crazy. Now They're Not As Crazy. To Say That Black People Have Made Progress Would Be To Say They Deserve What Happened To Them Before.