If You’re A Black Christian,

A Lot Of Racism Going On In The World Right Now. Who's More Racist? Black People Or White People? Black People. You Know Why? 'cuz We Hate Black People Too! Everything White People Don't Like About Black People, Black People Really Don't Like About Black People.

I'm Like The Hulk On Stage. It's Way Over The Top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I Get Off Stage And Go What Did I Say?! I'll Watch One Of My Stand-up Specials A Year Later And Go Eww, That Was Mean.

When You've Been On A Ghetto Diet Your Entire Life, You're Just Happy To Get A Large Soda Instead Of A Medium.

They Don't Want You To Vote. If They Did, We Wouldn't Vote On A Tuesday. In November. You Ever Throw A Party On A Tuesday? No. Because Nobody Would Come.

I Live In A Neighborhood So Bad That You Can Get Shot While Getting Shot.