If You Quit Being Cunty,

When You’re A Bed Wetter There’s Only One Group Of People You Can Feel Better Than, Bed Shitters, And Unfortunately They’re Hard To Come By.

If You Sell The Vatican And You Take That Money And You Use It To Feed Every Single Human Being On The Planet, You Will Get Cah-azy Pussy. All The Pussy. I Don't Mean Literally. That Might Not Be Your Cup Of Tea. I Don't Know What Your Version Of 'all The Pussy' Is. But You'll Get All The Pussy.

I Am 39 Years Old, And I Still Wake Up Every Morning Really Excited I Don't Have To Go To School.

I Think Fake Boobs Have Done Great Things For Real Boobs. I Think People Finally Appreciate Real Boobs. People Like Real Boobs. I Do. I Also Enjoy The Fact That They Are Life-nourishers.

I Didn't Lose My Virginity Until I Was Twenty-six. Nineteen Vaginally, But Twenty-six What My Boyfriend Calls "the Real Way".