I Am 39 Years Old,

I Am Diagnosed With Not Having Enough Insanely-addictive Drugs Coursing Through My Body.

I Feel So Confident And Awesome And Sexy When I'm With People Who Are Older Than Me, And I've Always Been Surrounded By People Who Are Older Than Me. But To Be Vital In Comedy, You Have To Exist In A World That's Dominated By Young People.

I First Did Stand-up When I Was 17, And Then I Passed Out Fliers For A Comedy Club (in New York City) And I Got Onstage Whenever I Could. And Musical Theater Went Out The Window As Soon As I Started Doing Stand-up.

Sometimes Loving Each Other Isn't Enough. You Have To Be Responsible For Your Own Happiness. You Can't Stay In A Relationship Because You're Afraid Of The Unknown.

I Talk To Friends Who Get Their Feelings Hurt When They Read Twitter Mentions. I Have An Amazing Solution - Don't Read Twitter Mentions.