I Am 39 Years Old,

The Best Time To Have A Baby Is When You're A Black Teenager.

I Am 39 Years Old, And I Still Wake Up Every Morning Really Excited I Don't Have To Go To School.

Jesus Is Magic, Because He Turned Water Into Wine. I Think He Made The Statue Of Liberty Disappear In The 80s Or Something.

Sometimes Loving Each Other Isn't Enough. You Have To Be Responsible For Your Own Happiness. You Can't Stay In A Relationship Because You're Afraid Of The Unknown.

Someone On Twitter Sent Me A Page From A Textbook. It Had A Picture Of A Football Player Next To A Picture Of Me. The Juxtaposition Was Meant To Illustrate Two Meanings Of "offensive." Seriously. It Broke My Heart. It's That Accepted What I Do Is Offensive?