If We're Not Going To

Well First Of All, I'd Just Like To Say That 2005 Was A Great Year, If You Like Swimming Through Crap.

Here's Why I Think There's Something A Little Odd With George Bush. Because A Lot Of The Times When He Speaks, His Words Don't Match His Face. Something Is Askew. You Can't Talk About The War With A Smile On Your Face. He Does It Constantly. If You're The President, You Should Go We're Going To Talk About The War, I Must Have A Frowny Face. The Only Time You Can Smile When You're Talking About The War In Iraq Is When You Go, Well, Two Iraqis Walk Into A Bar, Hahaha.

Stupidity Really Gets Me Going, When It's Just Plain Stupid, Obvious Stupidity. And I Think That's The Reason My Act Has Become More Political. I've Become Somewhat More Of A Political Comic Because The Level Of Stupidity I've Watched Is Staggering.

If You Don't Drink 56 Bottles Of Water A Week, Scientists Say You Should Take A Garden Hose At The End Of The Week And Shove It Up Your Ass.

My Father Worked At The Naval Ordnance Lab, And They Had A Nine-hole Course On The Property. You Paid A Quarter.