If We Build Three Million

Boredom Forces You To Ring People You Haven’t Seen For Eighteen Years And Halfway Through The Conversation You Remember Why You Left It So Long. Boredom Means You Start To Read Not Only Mail-order Catalogues But Also The Advertising Inserts That Fall On The Floor. Boredom Gives You Half A Mind To Get A Gun And Go Berserk In The Local Shopping Centre, And You Know Where This Is Going. Eventually, Boredom Means You Will Take Up Golf.

I Was Reading The Mirror The Other Day And Came Across A Letter From A Reader Who Wrote, 'i Was Riding My Bike To Work When This Red Ferrari Pulled Up Next To Me. Out Of The Window, Jeremy Clarkson Shouted 'get A Car', And Drove Off.' What I Actually Said Was, 'get A Car You Hatchet Faced, Leaf-eating Tw*t

In The Olden Days I Always Got The Impression That Tvr Built A Car, Put It On Sale, And Then Found Out How It Handled. Usually When One Of Their Customers Wrote To The Factory Complaining About How Dead He Was.

Multi-tasking Is The Ability To Screw Everything Up Simultaneously.

It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out Of A Pig's Bottom