When You've Finished Using A

Supercars Are Supposed To Run Over Arthur Scargill And Then Run Over Him Again For Good Measure. They Are Designed To Melt Ice Caps, Kill The Poor, Poison The Water Table, Destroy The Ozone Layer, Decimate Indigenous Wildlife, Recapture The Falkland Islands And Turn The Entire Third World Into A Huge Uninhabitable Desert, All That Before They Nicked All The Oil In The World.

Governments Would Rather Spend Their Money On Another Bomber Than Education, And Why Do We Fear Black Men When Every Bit Of Suffering In Our Lives Has A Caucasian Face Attached To It?

Column Writing Is Like Gas - It Fills The Available Space.

The Fact Is That Britain Is The Most Warlike Nation On Earth. In The History Of Armed Combat, We Are The Only Democracy To Have Declared War On Another Democracy - England Versus Finland In The Second World War, In Case You're Interested - And We're Always At The Front Of The Queue When Johnny Foreigner Gets A Bit Uppity. Who Stood Up To The Kaiser? Who Stood Up To Adolf? And Let's Not Forget The Argies. What Other Country Would Have Sent Its Fleet Halfway Round The World And Lost 250 Men To Protect A Flock Of Sheep And Some Oil That Might Or Might Not Be There? We're Still At It.

Driving Most Supercars Is Like Trying To Manhandle A Cow Up A Back Staircase, But This Is Like Smearing Honey Onto Keira Knightley.