If They'd Wanted A Nice

Any Misfortune That Happens To Another Person Is Funny. If It Happens To Someone Else And Not Me, It's Very Funny.

My Bubbie Lived To 104, Which Is Probably A Little Too Old To Consider A Ripe Old Age, Because She Had Already Started To Turn. I Still Say She Died Young.

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

I'm A Very Anti-vacation Person. Because I'm Always Getting On Planes For Work, To Me, A Vacation Is When I Don't Have To Get On A Plane.

Every Time I Give A Straight Answer And Read It In A Magazine, I Say, 'ouch.' One Day I'd Like To Talk To A Psychoanalyst About Why Celebrities Reveal So Much Of Themselves In Interviews.