If It Weren't For Philo

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.

Despite The Fact That Computer Speeds Are Measured In Nanoseconds And Picoseconds - One Billionth And One Trillionth Of A Second, Respectively - The Smallest Interval Of Time Known To Man Is That Which Occurs In Manhattan Between The Traffic Signal Turning Green And The Taxi Driver Behind You Blowing His Horn.

Pie Throwing Is Kind Of A Lost Art, And Although It May Be A Rather Rudimentary, Burlesque Humor, There's Something Inherently Funny About Taking A Pie In The Face, Under The Right Conditions.

May You Have The Income Of A Republican And The Sex Life Of A Democrat!

Do You Know My Dream? I Really Want To Become An Aluminum-siding Salesman.