If I'm Drinking I Can

I Bought A Hummer Before I Bought A House, And Then I Bought A House. Every Year, Everything Doubled. The Work Was Doubling. The Money Was Doubling. The Popularity Was Doubling.

I Drink Diet Coke So I Can Eat Regular Cake.

I'm Always Ready For Tv. I Don't Have To Edit My Jokes - When You Work Clean, You Can Work Anywhere.

Best Advice, Bro: Think Big. Don't Think Small. If You Think Small, Then You're Going To Stay Small. Think (about) The Broad Scope.

Comedy Is My Passion. I'm Going To Do This Until I Drop.