If I'm On The Course

The Last Time I Played Golf With President Ford He Hit A Birdie. And An Eagle, A Moose, An Elk, An Aardvark...

Wine, Women And Song Have Been Replaced By Prune Juice, A Heating Pad And The Gong Show.

I Went To Play Golf And Tried To Shoot My Age, But I Shot My Weight Instead.

Golf Is A Funny Game. It's Done Much For Health, And At The Same Time Has Ruined People By Robbing Them Of Their Peace Of Mind. Look At Me, I'm The Healthiest Idiot In The World.

Most Of The People Who Came For Dancing Lessons Had Rumba Ambitions And Minuet Bodies