I'd Like To Have Made

Everyone Tells Me I've Had Such An Interesting Life, But Sometimes I Think It's Been Nothing But Stomach Disturbances And Self-concern.

When I'm Married I Want To Be Single, And When I'm Single I Want To Be Married.

To Succeed With The Opposite Sex, Tell Her You're Impotent. She Can't Wait To Disprove It.

I Was A Fat-headed Guy, Full Of Pain.

If You Want To Be An Actor, My Advice Is To Learn Your Lines And Don't Bump Into The Other Actors.