I'd Crack Up Without My

Being A Lifetime Wife And Mother Has Afforded Me The Luxury Of Having Multiple Careers: I've Been A Teacher. A Chauffeur. A Chef. An Interior Decorator. A Landscape Architect, As Well As A Gardener. I’ve Been A Painter. A Personal Shopper. An Accountant And A Banker. I’ve Been A Beautician. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. A Movie Reviewer. A Nurse. A Psychologist. A Negotiator. An I Have A Ph. D In How To Pretend Like You Don’t Mind.

It Should Be Obvious That I Wasn't No Honor Roll Student In High School. My Favorite Class Was Boys.

I Would Be Content Being A Housewife If I Could Find The Kind Of Man Who Wouldn't Treat Me Like One.

I Like Doing The Readings And The Autographing, But The Interviewing Gets A Little Tedious Because You Get Asked The Same Questions Every Day And Sometimes Three Or Four Times A Day.

I Love Writing In First Person More Than Third. I Have To Basically Suspend My Own World. I Don't Exist. I'm Just A Conduit. So I Can Be Eight Years Old. I Can Be The Mother Of A Kid That You Find Out Certain Things I'm Not Going To Say.