I'd Be Vegetarian If Bacon

Humor Does Depend On Surprise, And The Things That People Remember As The Funniest Things In The World, You Look At Later And You Go, "what? What Was That All About?"

American Culture Has A Lot Of Great Moustaches In Its History. Mark Twain Had A Great Moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... But Zappa, He's Got The Best Moustache In American History. Got The Moustache, Right, And He's Got That Little Thing On His Chin, I Think It's Called An Imperial, That Is, Like, The Coolest Thing. That's Like One Of The Great Icons Of The Twentieth Century.

Vampires Are Make-believe, Like Elves, Gremlins, And Eskimos.

God Often Gives Nuts To Toothless People.

Love Is A Snowmobile Racing Across The Tundra And Then Suddenly It Flips Over, Pinning You Underneath. At Night, The Ice Weasels Come.