My Doctor Told Me That

We Inherit A Lot From Our Parents: Mom's Eyes, Dad's Chin, And The Attitude Of Whichever Parent Isn't Punishing You At The Moment. All Of Those Things We Have Our Mom's To Thank For."if Evolution Really Works, How Come Mothers Only Have Two Hands?"

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door.

Valentine's Day Is Like Armistice Day - You Declare A Truce.

This Man's Wife Told Him, "for Christmas, Surprise Me." On Christmas Eve He Leaned Over Where She Was Sleeping And Said, "boo!"

Sir, I Didn't Deserve The Grade You Gave Me On This Test. Do You Know A Lower One?