I Wouldn't Call Myself A

I Love Theatrical Props: A Cup Filled With Solid Fake Tea, Say, Or A Collection Of Fake Food, Including A Rubber Turkey, Which, During The Holidays, I Wrap In Tinfoil So It Appears To Have Just Come Out Of The Oven.

I'd Just Much Rather See An Ugly Person Take The Trash Out Than See Somebody Really Pretty Taking The Trash Out.

My Father And I Have A Very Good Relationship. We Always Got Along. But I Always Scold Him.

A Lot Of Times Girls Think They're Funny, But They Want To Pretty At The Same Time, And If You Want To Be Funny, You Have To Be Willing To Get Ugly.

I Cried When I Had No Shoes, Until I Met A Man Who Had No Feet. And Then I Laughed Really Hard.