I Would Like To Go

I Once Saw A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. And It Was Way To Literal For Me.

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.

I Went To The Home Depot, Which Was Unnecessary. I Need To Go To The Apartment Depot. Which Is Just A Big Warehouse With A Whole Lot Of People Standing Around Saying "we Don't Have To Fix Anything."

Swiss Cheese Is A Rip-off It's The Only Cheese I Can Bite Into And Miss

I Got A Business Card Because I Wanna Win Some Lunches. That's What My Business Card Says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme A Call, Maybe We'll Have Lunch. If I'm Lucky!