I Wish I Was Like

I'm Just A Guy Who Happens To Work In Public From Time To Time. I've Built A Reputation As An Established Comic, Not As A Celebrity - A Celebrity Is Someone Who Is Famous But Doesn't Do Anything.

I've Got Better Things To Do Than Read Rubbish About Myself.

Nothing Can Make Me Feel Better Now, Except Cocaine.

Eggs! They're Not A Food, They Belong In No Group! They're Just Farts Clothed In Substance!

Money Can't Buy You Love, But It Can Get You Some Really Good Chocolate Ginger Biscuits.