I Will Not Get Upset

It Struck Me As Pretty Ridiculous To Be Called Mr. Darcy And To Stand On Your Own Looking Snooty At A Party. It's Like Being Called Heathcliff And Insisting On Spending The Entire Evening In The Garden, Shouting "cathy" And Banging Your Head Against A Tree.

Don't Say 'what,' Say 'pardon,' Darling, And Do As Your Mother Tells You.

When Someone Leaves You, Apart From Missing Them, Apart From The Fact That The Whole Little World You've Created Together Collapses, And That Everything You See Or Do Reminds You Of Them, The Worst Is The Thought That They Tried You Out And, In The End, The Whole Sum Of Parts Adds Up To You Got Stamped Reject By The One You Love. How Can You Not Be Left With The Personal Confidence Of A Passed Over British Rail Sandwich?

I Had My Daughter By C-section, So Knew When And Where She Was Going To Be Born. I Got Freakishly Organized And Prepared A Group E-mail Birth Announcement. Unfortunately, I Accidentally Pressed Send All. I Then Had To Send Another E-mail Saying, "i'm Really Sorry But I Haven't Actually Had The Baby Yet." Then, When I Actually Did Have The Baby, I Felt Too Embarrassed To Send Another E-mail Saying, "i've Definitely Had The Baby Now."

Oh, God, I'm So Lonely. An Entire Weekend Streching Ahead With No One To Love Or Have Fun With. Anyway, I Don't Care. I've Got A Lovely Steamed Ginger Pudding From M&s To Put In The Microwave.