I Will Never Understand How

Charlie Sheen Called His Boss On 'two And A Half Men' A 'jew Ki**' And Expected To Go Back To Work. That’s Crazy. If You Could Do That And Keep Your Job, Then Everybody Would Do It.

My Perfect Night Would Be Going Out To An Awesome Restaurant, Then Heading Over To The Comedy Cellar To Hang Out With Other Comics, Drinking Beers And Making Fun Of Each Other.

I Never Knew If I Would Get My Own Show, But I Knew I Loved Stand-up.

Do Whatever You Want To Do, Whenever You Want To Do It

I Spent All Night Feeding The Homeless To Dogs.