I Was Home Educated But

I'm Going To Hell, Ah... But You're Laughing, So You're Coming.

I Don't Hate Anyone. I Simply Block Them Out Using Hellish Visions In A Blind White Rage. But If I See Them Out I'm Pleasant.

I've Always Read Books And Loved Human Behavior Since I Was Ten Or Twelve Years Old. Maybe Even That's Why I Wanted To Do Comedy.

On Stage I Am The Actor, Director And The Bouncer All At The Same Time. Fear Does Not Exist In This Dojo Does It? No Sensi! Sorry When I Get Excited I Have To Toss In Some Karate Kid Quotes.

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.