I Was Born In Alabama,

If Only Someone Would Do For Cows What Bambi Did For Deer. Cows Have Been In Films, But They Haven't Starred. I'm Still Willing To Eat A Species That Is Only A Supporting Player.

I Did Auditions At A Club Called The Comedy Connection. They Wanted Nothing To Do With Me. But One Night They Were Doing A Night Of All Women Comics, And They Invited Me To Do That.

I Don't Like Sex ... I'm A Single Working Mom With Nine Cats, A Dog-shark, A Lizard, And A Bunny. I Don't Go To Bed, I Pass Out. The Idea That I'd Get To My Bed And There'd Be Someone In There With Whom I Was Supposed To Have An Activity Is Horrifying To Me.

I Love Talking To The Audience, And I Must Be The Luckiest Performer In The World. I Always Land Something Or Somebody That Just Takes Off.

I Also Like A Great Caesar Salad With Anchovies, Although I Don't Know Why Some Places Say 'with Anchovies.' If You're Making A Proper Caesar Salad, It's Going To Have Anchovies.