I Wanted To Make Sure

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

When I Was A Kid You Always Heard About The Israeli Army And You Always Heard About This Tiny Little Country And How Everyone Around Them Wants Them Gone, And Every Time Somebody Comes After Them They Take Care Of Business. And So As A Jewish Kid You Were Proud Of That.

I've Got The Kid. I Feel A Little More Relief That I Don't Have To Just Think About Myself Too Much.

If A Girl Breaks Up With Me, I Want Her To Just Die, Just Be Dead. Not 'cause I Hate Her So Much As It's Just Easier For When My Friends Go, 'hey, What Happened?' 'oh, She's Dead. I'd Still Be With Her, But She's Dead. What Can I Do? She Was Loving Me, But She's Dead.'

Wasted Is When You Have A Hankering For Ice Cream.