I Want To See Toby

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

Historically, A Successful Life In Comedy Is A Dream That's As Equally Pondered And Unpursued As Being An Astronaut.

By The Time I Am Howard's Age I Hope To Be Long Retired. I Don't Plan On Working That Long.

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time At 5 A.m., But That Was To Buy Angel Dust