I Want To Marry The

The Driving Force Behind Doing Everything That I've Been Doing As A Stand-up Is Having Problems With Authority And Not Liking To Be Told What To Do.

I Was A Terrible Employee. I've Been Fired From Almost Every Job I've Ever Had, Luckily, In A Good Way, Or Else I'd Be Stuck. I Would Always Joke Around With Everybody, And No One Enjoyed My Humor.

I've Got A Long History Of Suicid In My Family; The Good News Is It Skips A Generation, So, If I'm Lucky, My Kids Will Kill Themselves.

I Think My Friend Jeff Is Gay. I Don't Know - I'm So Bad With Names.

I Never Knew If I Would Get My Own Show, But I Knew I Loved Stand-up.